Where It Stops Nobody Knows

I know alot of people come to a BDSM blog to read about all the kinky stuff and look at pictures and I promise to get back to that soon, but I’ve just been going through something and our kinky sex life has been on the back burner. 

 We kinda went over budget this month and didn’t have enough money left over to get one of my meds, I thought I’d be ok going a week without it until Daddy got paid again, but I was soooo wrong.  Lesson learned here, the meds leave my system quickly and it doesn’t take long to fall completely apart, so for now on, we’ll definitely make sure to put the money aside to buy the pills. 

 I’m sure people are getting tired of hearing about the bipolar stuff and when I started this blog I wasn’t going to mention being bipolar at all, but then I realized this blog is about us and our lives and unfortunately, my bipolar disorder is a part of our lives.  If someone else can relate to what I write, then that’s great and I really hope it helps them and if not, then this is just a glimpse into some of the struggles we face in our M/s relationship.  It’s not all bondage, beatings and blood.

Daddy got paid yesterday and I got my pills.  Soon I should be “regulated” again and we can get back to the fun stuff.  In my last post I had said it was a horrible day and I hoped to never have one like it again, but sadly yesterday was worse.  I’m going to spare everyone the ugly details, but lets just say submission went right out the window and I said some mean, vile and terrible things to Daddy.  At one point I saw him clench his fist and his arm stiffened and I know he wanted to knock my ass out, but he didn’t.  Talk about having self-control.  Later on after my light-switch had flipped again, he told me to be glad I wasn’t a man or he would’ve decked me.  I swear I don’t do this crap on purpose.  I don’t want this warfare between us and know that I’m the reason why.  I wish I had his self-control and could shut the fuck up sometimes.  I don’t know how many people reading this have seen the movie “Juno”, but if you haven’t you should because it’s amazing!!  There is a song playing when she goes into labor and part of the chorus sums up exactly how I feel “tell you that I love you then I’ll tear your world apart - just pretend I didn’t tear your world apart.”  I hate that I do that to him sometimes, but he always forgives me and for that I’m eternally grateful.  I’ll be glad when the medication is fully working again and things can get back to normal.

Around and Around We Go

Oh Lord, today was a doosey.  Instead of a having a bipolar episode - I had a bipolar day.  Mood swings galore.  Daddy did what he could to help me through it, but really there isn’t anything anyone can do - I just have to go through it and wait for a calmer mood swing to come along.  It’s hell to be trapped screaming inside your own mind with no relief in sight. 

The medications help alot, but they aren’t a cure.  On occasion, like today, I still cycle rapidly and go through periods of major aggression and then the pendulum swings and I’m calm and docile again.  It’s literally like being two different people - Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde.  I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again, I would not wish this nightmare on even my worst enemy.  I wish they did brain transplants because I want a new one. lol  I want one that doesn’t have faulty wiring in it.  The Drs. don’t know what to do for it, they give me pills, pills and more pills and when the dosage no longer seems effective, they just up it or try me on something else. 

Daddy wasn’t here for the major breakdown I had and I wish he had been because he’s always a calming influence on me.  Even when I’m aggressive, Daddy is still a safe haven.  To continually put up with it, I know he loves me.  Some say love is the death of a M/s or D/s relationship and to an extent I can see their point.  It probably would be easier for the Master to push harder in scenes and go further with the pain if they didn’t really have much of an emotional investment in their slave or sub.  Personally, I’m glad he loves me as much as he does.  I feel safer and more secure - especially during a bipolar episode.  I know that if I were with a Master that didn’t really love me, I’d have a major episode like today where my emotions were running wild and I’m feeling not very submissive and oh so aggressive and he’d cut me loose.  I couldn’t deal with that.  I need the love.  I need to know that I’m his no matter what.

Anyway, back to my major episode.  Daddy was at work and I was here with the kids.  Bipolar mood swings, hyper-active 3 year old and fussy teething infant DO NOT mix well together.  I snapped at my kids alot all day long.  I got really frustrated when I couldn’t get the baby to eat her baby food and before I even knew what I was doing - I threw the food across the room and it splattered all over the wall and floor.  I felt immediately guilty for losing it in front of my kids and of course I was angry at myself for not maintaining control, but that’s what they mean by lack of impulse control.  I also wasn’t happy that I now had a huge mess to clean up, but it was my own damn fault for throwing food in the first place.

Later on the kids and I were running errands and I felt a bad one coming on.  I hate driving while having an episode, it has the possibility of becoming a dangerous situation.  It’s not good to be overly aggressive behind the wheel of a car going 50mph down the highway.  A car in front of me started slowing down to turn, but instead of getting over onto the shoulder and out of the way, they just damn near came to stop on the highway to turn.  I lost it.  I swerved into the other lane, laid on the horn, flipped them off and was yelling obscenities.  I had my kids in the car.  Not good. 

Another good example of how night and day different a bipolar episode can make me - yesterday Daddy sent me to the grocery store wearing a shirt that showed off the scars on my chest.  The cashier noticed and I was embarrassed, but thrilled.  Now, had I been having a bipolar episode, I would have taken her staring at my chest like that as an aggressive act and I would have probably said something like “What?  You got a fucking a problem?  You want to fucking say something to me…….”  You get the point.  Night and Day. 

I hope to one day get it all under control and never have a day like this one again.

Rolling Right Along

Daddy sent me to the grocery store this morning wearing a low cut tank top that did nothing to hide the word carvings I have on my chest.  Walking around, the only thing I could think of was that the whole store could see the words “cum dumpster”, “whore” and “bitch” prominently displayed right above my tits.  It was exhilarating and embarrassing at the same time.  No one in the store seemed to notice until I got to the check out lane.  The cashier noticed immediatly and I’m pretty sure I started blushing because it got awfully hot in there all of a sudden. lol  She made the usual small talk of “Hi, how are you?” all while staring right at my chest.  This is the same grocery store I always go to and I’ve been through her lane before and she’s usually very bubbly and friendly, but not today.  I think I might have offended someone…..yay!  She was all business, no smiling, no nothing, her eyes only met mine once or twice.  For the most part, she was scanning items and studying the words on my chest. lol  (I have pink high-lights in my hair, hard to tell in the pics, but I do) I came home and told Daddy that I was pretty sure everyone at Food City would be talking about me now…..”you know that chick with the pink hair that comes in here all the time…she’s got scars on her chest that say “cum dumpster”, “whore” and “bitch”!”  Not very scandalous, but it is for this small conservative town and I’m loving it!  I can’t wait to go back in there, hope that particular cashier is working that day too. lol

Other than that, not much has being going on around here.  Daddy and I got the opportunity to “storm the beach” before he had to get ready to go to work.  He motioned for me to go to the bedroom and once there I stripped all my clothes off and laid down on the bed.  Daddy didn’t waste any time, he mounted me and started pounding me into the mattress - God it felt sooo good, I wish we could’ve had more time.  It was quick, but wonderful and anytime I get to please Daddy is a good time to me.  *smiles*

Later on, I was talking to my friend Amanda on the phone.  She’s an incredibly open-minded person, she knows all about our lifestyle because we’ve talked about it at great length, but she herself has no interest in it at all.  I was telling her about how my bathing in blood fantasy was going to be remaining just a fantasy and she said something to the effect of “Don’t do that!  Don’t let your dream die just because finding a way to make it happen seems impossible.  I’ll help you figure it out and if you want, you can use some of my blood too.”  I damn near cried.  I couldn’t believe that here she was brainstorming ways we could make this thing work and offering to let me draw some of her blood to use with mine in an attempt to make my fantasy a reality.  Now THAT’S a friend.  She’s one of the so-called dreaded, evil, icky “vanilla” people (sarcasm) and she’s more open-minded than some kinky people.  I seriously doubt I will take her up on her more than generous offer, but I do credit her with resurrecting my dream.  *smiles*

Preference MeMe

Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?

Night - because we have two small kids that monopolize all our time during the morning and the nighttime is the only time we have to be with each other.

Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Video?

I’ve posted some naughty pics *grins* so I guess next for us will be naughty video

Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?

We’ve done both and honestly it doesn’t make a hill of beans difference to me either way….candlelight makes the sexiest lighting, but that wasn’t one of the choices, lol

Word preference: Pussy or Cunt?

The word ‘cunt’ has a nastier ring to it, so I’m gonna have to go with cunt

Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?

Since I must pick one of theses, I’ll go with over the knee….however my real preference would be for him to punch me with his fists.

Word preference: Cock or Dick?

Cock and for the same reason I chose cunt - it sounds nastier, makes me feel dirtier….Dick to me, is just some guy’s name now.

Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?

Rope, definitely rope

Give a Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?

Done both - HATE both, but since I have to pick damn it……receive anal would be be my choice

Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?

Hmmm….this is a good one.  I’ve often fantasized about being a stripper, but the idea of fucking for money is pretty hot too.  Why can’t I have both?  ok, that wasn’t the question - guess I’ll go with stripping.

Which threesome: Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?

We’re working on finding a girlfriend so I’m gonna have to go with boy/girl/girl

Flavored Oil or Tingling Oil?

The flavored stuff usually tastes like crap so I’m going with tingling oil

Pearl Necklace or Swallow?

Both are great, but it’s really up to Daddy to decide this one for me and he usually prefers for me to swallow

Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex with a Stranger?

I’ve fucked alot of strangers - back in the day, I was the queen of the one night stand, but I’ve never fucked while anyone watched and the idea is a huge turn-on, so I’m going to say - let them watch us!

Tied to the Bed or Tied to a St. Andrew’s Cross?

I’ve been tied to a bed….let’s shake things up a bit and tie me to the cross!

A Wonderful Day

It was beautiful here today and Daddy decided to take all of us to the park for the afternoon!  I love going to the park because I love to watch our son run around just being a kid, playing with other kids and having such a good time. *smiles*  Daddy spread the blanket on the ground while I got the food ready to eat and then we all sat together in the shade, ate our lunch, listened to the birds sing and enjoyed being together as a family. *smiles*  With all the baby toys I brought, our 8 month old daughter was having the time of her life with a 20oz. coke bottle and an empty sandwich baggy - go figure! lol 

There were alot of people there, I was wearing a scoop neck tank top and at one point Daddy leaned over and said “Did you know you can see the scars on your chest?”  I laughed and said “Which scar?  The one that says cum-dumpster, whore or bitch?”  Daddy laughed and said “Yeah, I guess I do need to be more specific when talking about scars and YOUR body!”  We both got a big laugh out of that conversation. *smiles*

Later on, after the kids were in bed and it was just the two of us….Daddy decided to make use of me in a way he doesn’t very often.  He ordered me off the couch and down on all fours in front of him.  He propped his feet up on my back and used me like his footstool.  I loved it!!  I love being nothing more than furniture!  I don’t know why it isn’t something he doesn’t do with me more often, but when the mood does strike him to do so - I love it!  I fantasize about being his dinner table to eat off of.  I’m pretty sure I could hold still and not tip the plate or glass over…..hopefully.  I fantasize about being his table when we find another female to play with.  I imagine me down on all fours and her sitting on my back, legs open while Daddy’s licks her pussy.  I also imagine me on all fours with her laying on my back, legs opened wide while Daddy fucks her…….oh to be nothing but an inanimate object. <sighs>

When Daddy was finished with me as his foot prop, he ordered me to get back up on the couch and spread my legs wide.  He entered me fast and hard…..punishing my poor pussy….pounding me over and over again…relentless thrusts that made me feel every bit like nothing more than his fuck doll.  He exploded inside me and told me to clean him off.  I licked my pussy juices off his cock and the sweet, heavenly smell and taste of pussy made my ache for a girlfriend all the more real and worse.  To further toy with me some more….Daddy decided to deny me an orgasm.  Just for no other reason than because he can.  Tonight was about me being objectified, not satisfied.  Women get blue balls too!  I was really wanting an orgasm!  Ok, enough whining about it….hopefully tomorrow I’ll be allowed to cum. 

The cutting we did the other night on my breasts bruised!  I’m difficult as hell to bruise, so I’m loving that I’ve finally got some to show for it all.  The first one is the most recent.

 

For All the Haters…

I’m feeling the need to say something…..to explain something…..to defend myself and my fetish.

I understand that there aren’t alot of people like me and Daddy out there that have a blood fetish.  I understand it’s considered extreme edge-play and alot of people are freaked out by it.  That’s their problem to deal with, not mine.  I post what we feel, what we do and things that are important or interesting to us.  I’m not going to hold back or refrain from posting something just because someone might get their panties in a wad over it.  If you don’t like blood and don’t want to see bloody images - don’t stop by this blog because there will be tales of blood lust and pictures of it too.

We aren’t crazy or dangerous. lol It’s amazing to me how many closed minded people there are in the bdsm “community” here in blog land.  I say “blood fetish” and people hear “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”  It’s not like that!!  Anyone would be perfectly safe walking through my front door - we don’t attack people with meat cleavers when they come over…….promise. *grins* 

I’m assuming the comment I made about wanting to bathe in human blood may have disturbed a few people and I’m not making apologies for how I feel.  It doesn’t mean I’m looking for someone to kill so I can fill my tub with their blood!  I’m not insane!  I know the difference between right and wrong.  If you read that particular post, then you know I said “Without and let’s be clear here, without committing a crime.”  I was made to feel bad for being different and a freak for most of my life and I’ll be damned if now I’m going to feel bad about what I enjoy and posting about it here on my blog.  Yes, I love the sight, feel, smell, and taste of blood.  So what?  Some people like skat and piss play.  We’re all into different activities and it’s ok.  I wouldn’t want to be a cookie cutter image of someone else.  I want to be me.  The weird chick with a blood fetish.  Get over it.

I won’t say I’m not hurt by this because I am.  A couple of people removed my link from their blogroll, their perogative of course, but I’m not going to say it doesn’t hurt.  It feels like a slap in the face.  It’s almost like, we’re different and you are too, but you are just TOO different and you kinda freaked us out with the whole blood thing.  Well, if that’s the case, then it’s probably for the best that they won’t be stopping by here anymore.  Yeah, I deleted them from my blogroll too.  No hard feelings, I just can’t read someone else’s blog when I feel like they’ve judged me and have never ever met me.

If it makes anyone feel better - the whole bathtub full of blood thing will be remaining a fantasy.  The internet is useful for many great things, but it’s been utterly useless in helping me find a way to do this particular activity.  That goes to further prove my point that there are not alot of blood freaks out there.  For the record - I was going to find a way to use MY OWN BLOOD, but now I’ll just come up with something else.  So the mailman is safe now.  Daddy won’t be kidnapping him to drain his body of blood so we can use it in our bathtub or for a sacrifice. 

We are not sick or twisted.  If I happened upon a crime scene somewhere, I would not strip all my clothes off and masturbate in the blood! 

Auuuggghhh!  Haters.  Blood fetish haters.  Judge me all you want, I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of.  I would rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not. 

 

Getting a Blood Fix

Since I wrote my last post about my fascination with blood - I’ve been pretty wound up and needing a release.  Not an orgasmic release per say - I needed to bleed.  I needed to feel that cold sharp blade cut through my skin.  I needed the pain and joy that being cut brings me.  I needed to see the blood, feel it, play with it, and taste it.  I’m not allowed to cut myself, now it’s something only Daddy can do for me and when he walked in the front door from work, I was all over him like a yappy little dog. lol

Daddy wanted to relax and have a little down time before he did anything to me.  I had told him earlier on the phone what I was feeling so he knew what was going on in my head, but he still thought watching me wait, chomping at the bit to be his canvas, was funny.   Eventually, FINALLY (impatient much?) he told me to go get the stuff to do a cutting with!  WooHoo!!

I’m feeling incredibly sore, but soooo very satisfied now!  Thank you Daddy!

 

Blood Freak

I’m not sure when or how my fascination with blood got started, I just know it’s always been there as far back as I can remember.  As a child, I remember playing with the scrapes and cuts I got trying to make them bleed.  I picked at scabs just to reopen the wound and make it bleed some more.  Growing up I was always that “weird” kid the the other parents didn’t want their kids to be around. *smiles*

My first experience with cutting was an accident, I guess?  Not sure actually.  I was about 14 and I was hanging out with my cousin in her bedroom.  She’s older than me, she was about 16 or 17 then and she had this hand-mirror that she had broken, shards of mirrored glass were everywhere and I was helping her clean it up.  She left the room for what I don’t remember, I just remember I was alone for a while and I picked up the next piece of glass to be thrown away and looked at it.  I didn’t set out to cut my arm that day, it really just kinda happened.  I really believe that the fetish for blood and becoming a “cutter” picked me, I didn’t pick it - the glass was jagged, but sharp and for reasons known only to God, I put it to my arm, pressed down and roughly dragged it across my skin.  The pain was more like a burn, but it did bleed and I was thrilled!  Being young and dumb - what to do or how to hide it didn’t occur to me until after I had done it and my cousin had come back.  She wanted to know what had happened and I said I had accidentally cut myself.  I remember the look on her face because she knew I was lying and I remember feeling shame for cutting myself….not that it really stopped me.  I was hooked.  I enjoyed it, I loved it and I wanted more. 

 My grandpa used razor blades to cut out the corns on his feet so he had several boxes of new razor blades in their bathroom.  I stole a few and started experimenting.  I did a few quick gashes on my arm and I loved the instant warm and satisfied feeling I got.  When those cuts healed, I did one on my thigh - it probably should’ve had stitches put in it because it was so deep.  Then I did something I thought would be fun or “funny” and I made 8 cuts across my wrist to look like a suicide attempt.  I was young and thought it would be cool. lol.  I had no way of knowing the repercussions of that decision would last a lifetime.  When it healed and I was left with 8 long scars across my wrist, I realized I was going to have to live with them the rest of my life.  I panicked and I started to worry about what to do or say if/when anyone ever saw it.  Then as if on cue, my mom saw them.  She hit the roof - yelling, screaming, crying, thinking I was suicidal - it was hell!  I got sent to see a shrink and they talked about putting me in the hospital or on some medication.  My entire world was turned upside down over 8 scars on my wrist that I did on a whim and the whole fiasco was a fucking nightmare!  I finally convinced my mom that I wasn’t suicidal, I didn’t need a shrink,  I was just “experimenting” and cutting myself on purpose.   I think my mom would have preferred for me to be suicidal because then she started treating me like a freak.  To think your daughter is having emotional problems and trying to kill herself is one thing, to find out she cuts her wrist because she just likes doing it is apparently another.  Eventually the whole thing got swept under the rug and life went on, but that incident changed everything.  I stopped cutting myself so I could be my family’s version of normal, but my fascination with blood was still there.  I couldn’t get it out of my mind no matter how hard I tried. 

It took Daddy a long time to convince me that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was free from judgement and persecution.  The first time Daddy planned a scene that involved a cutting, I was thrilled and terrified.  That first cut brought back a flood of memories and emotions.  I watched him as he made small cuts on my thigh, wishing he’d go deeper and happy there was no shame in it.  He wasn’t going to make me feel bad for wanting it, liking it or needing it.  He understood.  I remember watching the blood run down my leg and feeling so free!  Free to be me!  Free to be the weird chick with a blood fetish. lol

Now, I’m wanting more blood - never satisfied that’s me. *smiles* I want to bathe in blood.  I want to be completely drenched in it from head to toe.  I also love that scene from the movie “Carrie” when they dump a bucket of pig’s blood on her.  That’s just fucking hot!  I would love to do it, but it would have to be human blood.  The idea of animal blood just doesn’t “do it” for me and I have no idea why.  It’s the same thing with bathing in it - it would have to be human blood.  Here’s the question, how do you get that much human blood without….let’s be clear here….without committing a crime?  I don’t know, but I’m thinking it over - always open to suggestions! *smiles*  So far, I’m thinking about drawing my own blood and storing it until I have enough….hmmmm.  I found this picture on the internet and I thought it was beautiful!

Is this not just amazing!?  I LOVE it!  I doubt it’s real blood, but it’s still pretty damn hot!  So there are 2 things that I’m working on now, finding Daddy and I another female to play with and finding a way to fill our bathtub full of (human) blood. *smiles*

Bipolar Moments

I had a “bipolar episode” yesterday, I wish there was a cure for this damn disorder because at those times, I really hate being inside my own head.  I lashed out at Daddy.  Not proud of this, actually very ashamed of myself and feeling guilty.  I was in a “mood” and Daddy tried to hold me and at that moment it felt constricting, confining, suffocating and I couldn’t handle it.  I wanted him to let me go and I started hitting him - it happened before I knew I was even doing it.  I just reacted.  Then I went to the bedroom and cried.  After I calmed down, we talked and got everything OK between us again and the rest of the day was great. *smiles*

Later on, I went to the video store and rented “Dead Silence” - it’s an excellent horror flick and “The Return” which sucked - don’t waste your time or money.  The kids were in bed and we had a great time on the couch just the two of us watching the movies.  When we went to bed, that’s when things got kinda messed up again.  I went right to sleep, but I soon woke up to Daddy fingering me and pushing up against me.  He put his cock in my ass with no lube and it was tight, he kept pushing and working his way in (the feeling of the sphincter muscle relaxing is still weird for me) and then he just reamed my asshole.  Next he did something he had never done before and it’s what kinda messed me up - he pulled his dick out of my ass and ordered me to taste my own ass on his cock.  I didn’t want to do it, but I did it and I felt like I was being punished.  I’m not an “ass” person.  I don’t like anal sex, but Daddy loves it so there you go.  It fucked with my head.  After he came, he snuggled with me a little then turned over to go to sleep.  I tried to sleep, but I was feeling restless and couldn’t.

 I got up to get a coke, have a smoke and try to figure out what the hell had just happened.  I was confused because it felt like I had been punished for lashing out earlier during a bipolar episode and he’s never punished me for that before.  If he was going to punish me for it, I couldn’t understand why he was punishing me hours after the incident had happened and after we’d had so much fun watching movies all night together.  Daddy got up and came in the living room to find out why I was up and he could tell something was bothering me.  I asked him if what had just happened was a punishment and he said No.  He explained that it was simply because he wanted to it.  He couldn’t sleep, he got horny, he knows how much I hate being woken up after I’m asleep, he wanted to fuck my ass and then he felt like making me taste my own ass.  Case closed.  I immediately felt better.  Knowing that it was done simply because he wanted to do it made all the difference in the world.  I explained what I thought had happened and we talked a little more about how he wouldn’t punish me for having a “bipolar moment” and how he can tell the difference between when I’m just in a rotten mood and when I’m “cycling”.  I felt such relief.  I should’ve known or remembered really, that when Daddy punishes me, he always makes sure I know I’m being punished and for what.  Damn my faulty thought processes. lol

When we went back to bed, we snuggled a little and I fell asleep happy that we had sorted everything out between us and that I had gotten to taste my own ass, even though I didn’t particularly like it, I’m happy he pushes my boundaries. *smiles*

 

 

Bleeding Love

 Our song is Alanis Morissette’s “Everything” and I asked Daddy if he would link it to the ‘About Us’ page and he did.  *smiles*  I love the song and what it represents to us.  The chorus - you see everything, you see every part, you see all my light and you love my dark.  You dig everything of which I’m ashamed, there’s not anything to which you can’t relate and you’re still here.”  To me, it feels like it was written about us and the first time I heard the song and really listened to the words - I cried.  I’ve probably played the video 20 times since he’s linked it to the site. lol

OK….moving on to what we’ve been up to….. *smiles*

Daddy’s on vacation this week, so we’ve had more time to play and it’s been wonderful!  He did a piercing on my back last night that hurt like a bitch while he was doing it, but the end result was sooo beautiful!  It’s was a large circle with some needles in the center and in all he ended up using 40 (22g) needles.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold still through 40 and asked Daddy to bind my arms so I couldn’t move - he was more than happy to tie me down for what he was about to do me. *smiles*  We were playing in the living room, so he got some rope, tied my hands together and then tied them to the leg of the couch.  I was thankful to have it too because there were a few times that I was pulling on that rope for dear life!

When the piercing was done, my back felt like it was on fire, but Daddy wasn’t finished with me yet.  He untied me, rolled me over on to my side and put two pillows on the floor and then rolled me on top of the pillows.  He had my ass in the air with my legs apart.  He fingered my pussy, rubbed my clit and got me all worked up to an orgasm then stopped.  I was begging Daddy to fuck me, but instead, he got out my favorite dildo - Big John and used it on me.  He wasn’t gentle about it at all, he spread my pussy lips apart and shoved it inside.  In and out, ramming me hard and fast, rubbing my clit and getting me all worked up to an orgasm then stopped - again.  I was really getting frantic - I WANTED TO CUM DAMN IT!! lol  Daddy then got out my other favorite toy - the rabbit - and used it on me.  I was so ready to cum that when the vibrations touched my clit - I exploded and it was the best orgasm of my life!

Taking the needles out is also very painful, not nearly as bad as going in, but it still fucking hurts.  We relaxed for a bit, talked, smoked a cig, and then Daddy told me to go get the razor blades.  YAY!!  I love piercings, but I REALLY love cuttings!  Love the blood. *grins*  To make me feel every bit like the fucktoy he wants and I am - he carved the degrading words “cum dumpster”, “whore” and “bitch” into my chest.  Wearing them like a label does make me feel lower, humbled, degraded and loved.

My favorite part of a cutting is after - I love the blood.  Daddy sat down on the couch and motioned for me to come to him.  I crawled over to him and he pulled out his cock.  I smeared his cock with my blood then licked it all off while staring up into his eyes.  He leaned his head back and closed his eyes - my sign that he’s ready for me to really start sucking his cock.  I took him all the way into my mouth and bobbed up and down for a while, then he told me to suck on his balls.  He grabbed me by my hair and had not only my mouth, but my entire face shoved between his legs while he was jerking off.  Then he told me to sit up and he exploded all over my face.  Glad I was already wearing my blindfold or he would’ve nailed me right in the eyes and cum burns. *smiles*