It’s been a few days since I’ve posted anything and that’s because I fucked up again and got myself in trouble.  I was playing around on yahoo - which for the most part I think is a joke, but on occasion you do meet someone worth talking to and that’s what I thought I did.  I ended up giving out the blog’s address and did not ask Daddy for permission first.  Honestly, for a second or two, I thought about keeping this little indiscretion to myself, but I couldn’t do it.  I had to tell him the truth about what I had done, even if that meant a horrible fate for me…..complete honesty is key to making a Master/slave relationship work.  He was pissed.  He’s warned me time and time again of the dangers of the internet and how I’m way too trusting of people for my own good.  I knew I was in for it when he refused to talk to me anymore.  I was expecting to get beaten or ass raped but instead he took away the computer.  Somehow that was more of a jolt to me than any of the other methods of discipline he’s tried.  I’m a masochist, even though it hurt in a bad way and was done for punishment, I like being beaten and ass raped.  Taking away the computer was taking away everything from me.  My life.  My blog, reading blogs, mahjong, music, you tube, surfing the net, World of Warcraft, the Sims and Diner Dash games (yes I’m almost 32 and I enjoy these kid’s games) all these things were gone from me for 3 days and if I did anything else during that time, he would extend the number of days.  I became the picture of obedience.  I kneeled at his feet and never moved.  My limbs were screaming, but I never moved.  When he needed something, I was johnny on the spot getting it for him.  We talked and I was angry at myself.  I was punishing myself too.  I wanted to show him that I am a good girl.  I can and want to obey.   

Thursday after Daddy came home from work, ate, watched t.v. and unwound -  he started playing with my nipples and I was rubbing his cock until he was nice and hard.  I got down off the couch and gave him one of my best blow jobs (had to prove I was going to be a good girl) *smiles*  only I didn’t get to drink his cum…he pulled me up and threw me down on the couch (our new couches are seeing a lot of action) he entered me rough and hard and at a very uncomfortable angle for me.  He fucked me three ways from Sunday and when he was done, I could barely move.  After the soreness in my neck, shoulders, back and legs settled down - my right groin area was hurting.  He had pulled my groin muscle.  I had a sex injury!  He smiled and laughed when I told him.  Evil man that he is - he thought it was funny and that it added a little something extra to my punishment. 

Friday I ran errands in the morning and with every step I took, my groin muscle would ache, but I was actually getting a little thrill out of it *grins*  Daddy had to work 7pm - 7am.  and after I got the kids in bed, I was really lonely and missing Daddy.  I couldn’t play on the internet and after a while t.v. is so blah…I called Daddy and talked to him for a while.  I asked his permission to masturbate and sleep having my favorite dildo inside me.  That’s one of my favorite things to do sometimes…..walk around all day or sleep with my favorite pink ribbed jelly dildo inside me.  Daddy gave me permission.  When all else fails and you need a little pick me up - masturbating works just fine *smiles* I got out the one I call “Big John” It’s about the size of an average forearm.  In penis terms - it’s fucking huge.  Sometimes you just need that extra humph.  I like to straddle it and ride it, then bounce on it for a while.  Doesn’t take long to feel the building of an orgasm and I hold it off….I’m thinking about my favorite fantasy - the one about a threesome.  I can’t wait to see my husband fuck another woman.  I want to see her pussy dripping wet and begging to be fucked.  I want to see him pound the hell out of her.  To watch as his cock goes in and out over and over….that brought the waves of an orgasm crashing down on me so hard I couldn’t have stopped it if I wanted to.  It was heavenly.  My groin muscle was screaming, but who cares!  I had just had the best orgasm of my life (I say that about every orgasm I have) *smiles* I collapsed on the couch and just watched t.v. for a while.  An hour or two later, I’m bored and lonely again and I call Daddy.  After getting off the phone with him, I settle back on to the couch and I’m feeling…..aroused.  My nipples are starting to get hard so I play with them to get them big, full, and hard as rocks.  Pulling and twisting and causing pain….then I work my way down to my cunt…soaking wet and begging to be rubbed.  Already been fucked hard - this time it just wants to be rubbed.  I’m rubbing my pussy/clit with one hand and pinching/abusing my nipples with the other and I’m having these flashes of images in my head.  Pain.  Blood.  Rape.  Beatings.  Savage.  Brutal.  Tears.  Screaming.  I flashed on the rape images alot…single man, 2 men, a gang, different variations but always the forced submission and cruelty.  I didn’t try to hold the orgasm back, I just let it violently shake out of me until I collapsed on the couch panting like a dog… I had just had the best orgasm of my life *grins*  I’m dizzy and exhausted and my pulled groin muscle is hating me, but I was having a self fuck fest so who cares!  So a few hours go by and I’m getting ready for bed, I insert the dildo and instantly the feeling of having something inside me, makes me want to fuck it.  I call Daddy to tell him it’s inside me and to say goodnight.  I go off to bed and I’m giddy with the anticipation of masturbating again.  It’s like I’m 12 and have discovered it for the first time.  Laying in bed, I’m thinking of Daddy being there with me and of all the things we’ve done in our bed and my hands find their way to my hardening nipples.  I reach down and fuck myself with my dildo for while.  In and out…sometimes slow, sometimes fast, but always thinking about Daddy and me.  His dominance, my submission.  His cruelty and my need to be abused.  I think about him there hurting me and I’m imagining things like him nailing my tits to a board and I cum with such a force that I couldn’t move.  It was the best orgasm of my life! *smiles*  I was completely paralysed for a few minutes and then I was exhausted.  My groin muscle had had enough abuse and so had I.  I fell asleep happy and satisfied and thinking about Daddy and the feeling of the dildo inside me.

Saturday Daddy slept in until 2 pm after being up all night at work.  My pulled groin muscle was letting me know it didn’t appreciate the masturbation marathon.  I wanted to rest and kick back, but there was too much that had to be done.  It’s really hard to be just one person waiting on 3 people hand and foot.  I know one day the kids will be older and can do more for themselves, but damn…being mommy and slave is hard work.  Normally I’m a night owl, but I asked for permission to go to bed at 11pm. 

Sunday, I’ve done my time for my crime and my “grounding” is over.  I got access to the computer back and I’m soooo happy!  Taking away the computer was a very effective punishment.  It got my attention and will definitely make me think before I act again.  It was a good learning experience.  I focused on Daddy and was a better slave to him and that’s the important thing *smiles*  However, if I go MIA for a few days again - I’ve probably done something and have been grounded from the internet, but I’ll be back - eventually lol.  I think he’s found himself a winner - the thought of losing the internet strikes more fear in my heart than the thought of his belt or ass rape does.  Damn masochists *grins*