We were inseparable from that night on.  Our relationship moved so fast that it really was a whirlwind romance.  Within a week of meeting we were exclusively only seeing each other.  2 months later in December he asked me to marry him and in July (only 7 months after our engagement) we got married.  From the night we met to the day we got married was barely 9 months!!

We had gone to an adult toy store to pick up a few things and when we got back out to his car he asked me to stop seeing other guys.  I was so happy that he wanted us to date exclusively!  I broke it off immediately with my fuck buddy and dropped whatever other flings I was having and became only his girlfriend.  Then in December one night after we’d finished fucking, he rolled over and said “I love you, do you want to get married?”  I laughed because I thought he was kidding.  He wasn’t laughing so I asked him if he was serious and he said he was.  I said “OK”.  That was how the engagement happened. lol  We fucked like bunnies, he said he loved me, asked if I wanted to get married and my response was saying “OK”. lol  How July 6th became our wedding date was funny too.  We decided to live together in my apt. because the rent was cheaper and the lease on his apt. was up at the end of July.  The first Saturday in July was the 6th. so that’s how it came to be our wedding date.  So romantic huh?  A wedding date set due to the expiration of an apt. lease!! lol  

Everyone said we were fools and we were making the biggest mistake of both of our lives.  Everyone said we were moving too fast and it would never work out.  They also thought the only reason we were getting married so fast was because I was pregnant.  I wasn’t, but they kept an eye on my waistline for months just in case I was lying. lol  My family tried every way in the world to talk me out of it.  They wanted us to wait, but we were in love, wanted to tie the knot and make it official.  When it’s real and true love you know it so why wait?  When he told me that he loved me for me and that he would NEVER leave me, I knew it in my heart to be true.  I knew I wanted to be his wife and I’d never been more sure about anything else in my life.  I was barely 20 years old and he was 25.  By the time the next October rolled around and we’d known each other for a year, we’d also been married to each other for 3 months.  I don’t regret getting married so young at all.  In a lot of ways it’s like he raised me and he really is my Daddy. 

In the beginning of our marriage we were essentially just playing house, but then reality sets in and the honeymoon period is over.  Over the years we have survived things that most marriages don’t and came together stronger for it.  There have been so many uphill battles, so many twists and turns in the road that we never saw coming, but we made it through it all with our union intact.  I love him more today than I did 12 years ago on this day just because of what all we’ve been through together.  I never thought that I would experience real love - the kind of love they make movies about, but here we are.  We are a living testimony that true and lasting love really does exist. 

For the first 8 years ours was your typical type of marriage because I walked beside him in life as his partner.  We were equals.  We had kinky sex in the bedroom, but that’s all it was.  I’d known all my life that I was different, but I thought it was because I was “crazy”.  I had fantasies of being a used and abused sex slave, fantasies of him dominating me while I was totally powerless and under his control, but I didn’t know what it all meant.  I never brought it up because I was scared, ashamed, and didn’t want him to think I was weird.  I had never heard of BDSM and didn’t know that people lived their lives like that.  I didn’t know you could.  I bought into the whole equal partner thing as what I was suppose to be doing as a wife and didn’t know any other way of life.  Daddy didn’t know either. 

Then one day I was playing around on yahoo and saw a chat room called “BDSM” and I thought, “What’s that about?”  I had no way of knowing that clicking that button and going into that chat room was about to change my entire life.  I saw the words “domination”, “submission”, “power exchange” being thrown around and I felt a sudden jolt go through my body.  People were talking about the EXACT same things I had been feeling inside myself, but didn’t know what it was or what to do about it.  I talked to a few people about it all and of course many so called “Doms” wanted me to be their slave, I didn’t know any better so I went with it.  I was learning.  I researched BDSM on the internet and found one very helpful site that I learned a lot from called ”The Albany Power Exchange”.  I bought books, I did everything I could think of because the switch had been flipped and there was no going back.   After I was sure this was what I wanted out of life, I approached my Husband with it.  Talking to him about it was so hard to do.  Incredibly hard.  I was sure he was going to react badly to it.  I had played out the entire conversation in my mind and it did not end well.  I was convinced he’d think I was crazy or a freak and it could possibly hurt/ruin our marriage.  Imagine my surprise when he did not react badly and even admitted to having the same type of thoughts!!  I was in absolute disbelief that he also wanted to explore this further. He wanted to be the head of the household, he wanted me in the submissive “Yes Dear” wife role. No more 50/50 partnership.  To say I was overjoyed is an understatement.   I could not believe we were on the same page with this!! 

Like when we started out in the beginning of our marriage, our road to where we are now was an uphill battle.  I had gotten use to the way things had been for so long that ACTUALLY giving up control was hard.  I loved going further and exploring more of the kinky stuff, especially when we started into bloodsports *big grin*, but being submissive all the time proved much harder for me than I thought it would.  When you’re taught to be a strong, independent woman, and to never depend solely on a man, it’s scary to really let go of all that and become the opposite of what you were taught was right.  Since the change in our dynamic wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen over night, I thought there was something wrong with me and I was doing it “wrong”.  Then I thought it had to be him that was doing it “wrong”.  Eventually after months and months and months of trial and error we got into a groove.  We relaxed.  We took what we’d learned and applied it to where it worked for us, but for the most part I’ve just learned to follow his lead.  This was 4 years ago and we are both so incredibly happy with the way our dynamic is now that we wish we would’ve known about all of it sooner!! 

As we walk through our lives together, I will never again be by his side - I will always be right behind him following his lead. 

I love you Daddy!!  Happy Anniversary!!