Consistency is hard to maintain in a M/s relationship, or at least it’s sometimes a challenge for us.  I want the “in your face” type of domination where there is NEVER any question of who’s in charge around here and sometimes Daddy just wants some down time because he’s not really in the mood to be “Billy Bad-ass” at the moment.  When those times happen, it’s hard for me to sit and patiently wait for him to “feel like it” again because it throws me into a tailspin.  I feel lost and like there’s a disconnection between us.  I HATE feeling out of sync with him, it makes me feel like everything in the world is wrong.  I turn into a bitch and a total brat, oh yeah, I’ve got the brat act down pat.

What started it for me was - I’m to get his stuff ready for him before he goes to work, his wallet, cell phone, etc…  On the list of things to get are his thumb drives (I’m not a computer person, but they are these small, computer related things he needs for work.)  Well, I forgot them and later on when I saw them on his desk, I called to apologize for not having everything ready for him.  He said it wasn’t a big deal and the thumb drives were the least of his problems.  Now…. to most people that probably would’ve been a sigh of relief that it wasn’t a “big deal”, but it upset me.  I felt like if it’s not a big deal, if it’s not EXPECTED of me to have EVERYTHING ready for him, then why am I bothering?  I got quiet so he knew something was wrong - I’m not a quiet person, I’ll talk your ear off if you let me.  He asked what was wrong and I flat out told him.  I told him that it was a lack of consistency, that if it doesn’t really matter then why am I doing it?  If I don’t do something that’s required of me, even by accident, that it fucks with my head when nothing is done about it.  He was having a bad day at work, I did not know that or I would’ve kept my mouth shut, but he ASKED me what was on my mind, so I told him.  It got tense and we ended up in an argument.  The fight continued when he got home too - I was pouting and hurt, he was stressed, tired from work and not really wanting to “deal” with me at the moment.  We avoided each other and the situation for a while, which just made the gap between us feel so much wider.  Eventually we both calmed down enough to talk it out and he understood my need for consistency and that not having it sometimes just fucks with me.  He admitted to being a little lax with me and said that he was going to make a conscience effort to hold me accountable when I don’t do something that’s asked of me.  Damn, vanilla mode is toooo fucking easy to slip slide back in to.

To reconnect, I curled up with him on the couch and started rubbing his cock through his shorts.  I love rubbing his cock and feeling it starting to get hard.  He took it out of his shorts and I started sucking on it, mmmm….  He forced his cock down my throat until I started to gag and a little bit of vomit came up in my throat.  Then he took his shorts off and told me that I was owned, I was his slut here for his pleasure and to further resolidify that my head, he told me to lick his asshole.  Yuck.  I HATE doing that more than I hate having anal sex.  I’m just not a “butt” person, but I did it.  It gave him immense pleasure and I was happy that I was pleasing him, even if I was holding my breath and just trying to get through it.  After a while, he pulled me up on top of him and I rode his cock for little bit while he yanked and tugged on my nipples trying his best to pull them off my chest.  As he was about to reach an orgasm, he pushed me off of him and told me to suck him off.  I love the taste of my pussy on his cock and then I remembered I had just finished my period and there’s always that residual…fuck it, I just went with it until he exploded in my mouth.  I didn’t get to have an orgasm, part of his reminding me who’s in charge around here.  Of course I would’ve loved to have an orgasm too, but I was one satisfied little whore anyway just feeling reconnected to him as his slave.

Later on we were playing Wow (World of Warcraft - we’re addicted) and I know I’m to crawl to get the things he asks for, but lately he hasn’t said anything when I walked so I kinda got out of the habit of immediately falling to my knees.  It happened twice and he called me on it both times.  I was not testing him, it was just a mistake, but I was happy that he sent me to the corner for 5 minutes for the infractions.  I wasn’t happy about being punished, I never want to be the kind of slave that does shit just to get attention, but I was happy for the consistency.  I stood to walk, when I should have knelt to crawl and he put me in my place for not doing what I know I’m suppose to do.  I felt so centered and sooo happy - I was floating.  Consistency….gotta love it! 

Rose